Trusting your Story

This post is inspired by something I saw on Etsy just now, as well as recent events.

When your gut instinct tells you something, I think the initial reaction for many tends to be to apply logic, to deny that intuition could be right on the mark, and to ignore the message. What I’ve been learning for the past couple years (at least) is that my intuition rarely fails; though occasionally I fail to heed it.

In the book ‘Women Who Run With the Wolves’ there is a story called Vasalisa the Wise, in which a girl is given a doll by her dying mother. Her mother tells her to feed the doll regularly and she will be protected. When she doesn’t feed the doll, she gets into dangerous situations, but when she does feed it, the doll begins to speak to her. The author, Dr. Estes, compares this to intuition; when we ‘feed’ our intuition by heeding it, the voice of our intuitive knowing grows more powerful and we are able to hear it more clearly.

I have been heeding my own intuition more and more over the years, and whereas 4 years ago I felt I was walking around confused and blind through many situations, unsure of what decisions to make, now I feel that I have a much brighter and clearer view of the safest and best path.

  • I’d encourage you today to get quiet, close your eyes, focus on your heart while breathing deeply and
  • see if there is a nagging thought or feeling there.
  • Begin to write whatever comes to mind on a piece of paper until you have nothing left to write.
  • When you’ve done this, look at the paper and see what decisions you might be mulling over.
  • Accept that you are or aren’t sure right now, of what to do.
  • If you know what to do, (which for me, I get a sense of peace about that path if it’s the right one) you might write down some first steps to take: don’t just think them! Actually write them. Somehow this always makes clearer in my mind how easy they are, though they seem hard before they turn from thoughts to printed words.
  • If you still don’t know, let that be ok. The answers will come at the right time. Come back to your heart again later.

It may take several tries of getting centered over several days or weeks before you are able to write anything. Keep attempting. The simple act of centering in your heart is food for your intuition anyway.

I wish you the best in this. Remember to trust your story. If you feel like something’s ‘off’ or out of place, it most likely is; so take the steps you need to take and trust yourself.

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Agreeing with Hubby

I’d like to propose a tweet:  A #strong married #woman agrees with her husband because she chose a husband who has similar #values to her own. #feelinggoodfeminism

Make it go viral.

I recently have read some things stating that women ought to agree with their husbands out of respect for their marriage, and ought to cede to her husband’s decisions because he has the final word. Aside from suddenly needing to vomit, I feel that there is something inherently dangerous about this idea of unconditional support based on convention rather than based on intelligent agreement and trust.

I would choose to marry someone who upholds the same values I do, both in words and actions. I hope that my fellow women feel the same about choosing a partner; that partnership is based on similar values, trust, respect, and intellectual interest in one another’s ideas and projects. I believe in equal cooperation.

I would hope that men can do the same, seeking a partner who is similar to you intellectually and morally, so that you trust in her decisions. Choose the path of strength; be honest with your partner, tell her how you really feel about things so that you both make informed decisions about your continued partnership.

I can say these things all day long, and the most important portion remains that I must continue to practice making good intelligent decisions for myself, learning who I am and expressing my personality in everything I do, and speaking my story to those whom I come to trust will treasure it.

Gossip

Why is there a tv show called ‘Gossip Girl’? (No I’m not just catching on. I heard of it years ago) Media influences society, and gossip is a sickness and a learned behavior. Gossip inspires hate. Having a show about people who gossip is the social equivalent of selling H1N1 at the grocery store.

Females are widely perceived as performing this behavior of ‘gossip.’ And often they unfortunately live up to it. Men also gossip, especially when talking about women. Picture yourself in this situation:

“Uhhh, remember that girrrl?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard some bad things about her.”

So what do you do in this situation? Personally, I would say “I don’t want to hear about it,” which does not always do the trick, but I say it anyway. Seriously, I don’t want to hear about it. Because what good could it do for me to hear something negative about someone else?

    • It truly does not make me feel good about myself.
    • I tend to worry about the person gossiped about, and sometimes worry that what they did will affect me (because sometimes it does).
    • Sometimes, the gossip is about what someone else did- and perhaps I, too, did that thing, and here’s my friend saying this other person is such a *bleep* and she wouldn’t be friends with them.
    • NUMBER ONE worst part: I begin to believe that the person I am talking to talks about ME behind MY back.

Gossip is a sickening behavior, not just that I’m disgusted by it, no, I truly have seen it break trust, sicken a friendship and kill it. I have seen people isolate themselves by gossiping about everyone they know. Suddenly no one wants to be your friend? It’s your behavior.

Take small steps. Here’s how.

  1. Notice when you gossip. Notice when other people gossip.
  2. Stay silent when other people are gossiping. You think this is counter-intuitive? Try it. You’ll find you’re listening. Listening to gossip is the #1 way to kill the urge to gossip.
  3. Love yourself. People who love themselves have no reason to badmouth other people.

That’s it. Normally I love long lists, but I’m going to keep this one simple. It’s so easy, anyone can do it!

I’m feeling totally good about you. I don’t talk about you behind your back, other than to say you’re awesome. I promise.