Start Doing Things the Way You Want Them Done

This is a bold statement, I realize that, and you have excuses why you “can’t” but I assure you, anything you want to do, you Can do.

Are you one of the people in your organization at work who deals with who is paid what amount? Go in and look at whether there are male and female employees there who are doing the same work. Even-out the pay between them.

Do you want to read books where the default pronoun is ‘she’? As in, “when any human feels they are capable of a task, she will complete that task with confidence” or myriad other examples. So write those books. Write those blog posts.

Do you want to fight rape on a real and personal level? Take reasonable precautions; Don’t invite people over until you know them really well, avoid getting completely intoxicated, and when your friends mention ideas of theirs that you think might put them or you in a dangerous situation, speak up and tell them so! Respect your instincts. Practice speaking up for yourself on all kinds of things, so that you make it a practice of making your needs and intentions clear.

And then my favorite: Do you want to see media that *respects* women? Create it. Create movies that don’t question female power and agency; they exhibit it. Create advertisements (even unofficial ones!) that show healthy women whose features aren’t obscured by makeup and don’t bother to call attention to the fact. Calling attention to something makes it increase, as it is the focus. So create the world as you’d like it. Show these strong and beautiful ideas of yours with confidence and abandon!

And keep it positive.


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Photographs taken by Mia Enns.

Female Genius …and Busking!

I figured I had better drop in and assure you that my tactics for surviving Valentines day did in fact work. I did not perish horribly for lack of ‘box of chocolates gifted by an adoring fellow’ nor any other unfortunate malady. You’ll never guess what I -DID- just find.

are you guessing?

I was searching for ‘movies about street performers’ on google, in part because of my admiration for Amanda Palmer and her amazing work, and due to my own interest in possibly developing an act.

I found THIS. Make sure to check out the second page. The link is sort of hard to find at the bottom there. ‘5 Crazy Street Performers (Who Happened to be Geniuses)‘ impressed me, but what impressed me more about the list was that the author hadn’t felt it necessary to include any female street performers!

One quick visit to The Busking Project‘s website led me to Dawn Dreams, whose contact juggling left me breathless. Rhiannon Schmitt is an experienced busker and violinist who has written a comprehensive article about street performing’s rigors and joys.

And then of course there is Amanda Palmer, who is in my opinion undoubtedly a genius.

So, post your links and knowledge and everything good you can find about female buskers HERE as comments to this post. Go!!

Love you, THEN reproduce

Unfortunately in some situations abortion might be the most loving choice. What is absolutely 100% better, however, is just not to have sex in the first place if you don’t want to give birth. ‘Sexual freedom’ and sexual wantonness are totally different things. Women have the freedom to have sex with men outside of marriage. We also have the freedom to choose to not use that freedom.

Whether or not you agree with me doesn’t matter, but have an open mind for a minute.

I’ve known several people who told me they knew their births were accidental because of things their parents had said, who had been treated terribly by their parents, or who were adopted and had never forgiven their birth parents for having a child and being unable to take care of it. These people have suffered so greatly. I have such compassion for them. I would absolutely NEVER say that these people should have been aborted, because I don’t feel that at all. I believe these people deserve all the love in the world. I am glad to have known them. I do feel that it’s cruel to bring someone into a life that you aren’t ready to provide them, or aren’t emotionally capable of providing. A person needs to love their self before they can teach a child how to love itself.

Are you wondering if maybe you don’t love yourself that well?

do you smoke? drink for oblivion? use drugs at all? use sex to block out emotions? neglect to eat/sleep/bathe/brush your teeth? (You can’t love yourself if you’re destroying yourself.)

Or perhaps you do have a healthy love of yourself?

do you care more about being true to yourself than about what other people think of you?

do you make your needs priority ahead of your desires?

can you give up something that’s harming you?

do you seek positive healthy situations?

can you set boundaries and hold to them?

can you sit with and truly feel strong emotions until they pass?

I would like to gift you the quest for love that I have been taking… I am seeking to love myself in the kindest ways, to have self-compassion and to take great care of my well-being. I am passing it on to you.

Where Have You Been??

Where have I been, you ask?

Well, I’ve been focusing my attention on my spirituality and on learning to love myself. I’m finding that the best way to change the world, as well as my perception of it, is to focus on the positive things. It would seem that I had been doing that all along through writing this blog, wouldn’t it? And yet, while my original goal was to promote good things women are doing and positive things being done for women, I ended up mired in so much negativity; negative things being done to women and by women. I could not continue to focus on those issues and be happy and true to myself. I became angry and found it difficult not to lash out at those around me. I was constantly on the defensive. That’s not a side of myself that I wish to encourage.

Rather, I am nourishing the loving side. The past few months have seen much growth as a person and individual. If you follow my spiritual blog: you may see that I am still thinking and still writing. I still promote the best possible actions and thoughts regarding women. Personally I have had to take a strong stance on making it my top priority to heal my body and spirit. I believe that this healing is possible for all of us, and I encourage you to seek a path of healing for yourself. If the first way you choose does not benefit you, try another. Keep trying to heal and eventually you will.

A commitment to love is all that is required by most great movements. I’m turning more of my attention and energy toward healing the Earth in every possible way (water, air, living beings, picking up trash). The rest of my energy is spent making art, and building confidence. (hmm, the part I wrote next apparently didn’t post. Sorry, email-followers!)

So I may continue to post here occasionally, and I may re-blog posts from my spiritual blog, if they pertain to positivity about women.

Keep spreading positive energy and tolerance!

Natural Woman

Katie Stelmanis is a female musician creating incredible feminist music. How is it feminist? Her lyrics expand the range of themes female music artists typically discuss within songs. On ‘Believe Me’, she asserts herself (listen to it!), and the video for ‘Natural Woman’ expands on the original song in such a beautiful way, not only for transgendered individuals, but for anyone whose gender is boundary-defying.

I found out about Katie’s music because of an article I was reading* which decried the sexism and anti-female attitudes now being found within the industrial music scene. The article spoke positively of Katie’s work, however, saying that maybe there is an underground saving grace for industrial music (fitting, considering the underground nature industrial music once embodied). I would classify her work as ‘awesome’, for it is in the ‘awesome’ music genre. As for ‘industrial’, I’m not so sure that classification fits, but I’ll let you decide for yourself whether you like it. Believe me, I do:

As for violent industrial music, I am #notbuyingit and I mean that. Literally. I’m trashing old stuff and not buying new. I will not wear an old t-shirt for a band who spreads violent messages because that is free advertising for them, for violence.

I’m feeling good about standing against violent messages, and feeling Awesome about women expressing our human interests through music.

*(no link provided, due to the violent and sexual imagery included with the article.

This post describes what I’ve been experiencing this week. It is freak-out week, indeed. Blessings on anyone who is going through the same. And anyone who’s not.
I’m feeling good about solidarity… and hanging in there.

Cauldrons and Cupcakes

Let me ask you a personal question.  Do any of the following sound like you right now (although a few weeks ago you were fine, or certainly more fine than you are now)?

  • exhausted, for no apparent reason
  • achy and unwell in a very non-specific way
  • restless, or feeling like you want to run away
  • scattered
  • teary, for no apparent reason
  • easily triggered into old ‘stuff’
  • anxious, for no apparent reason
  • unable to make decisions
  • suddenly overwhelmed
  • wanting to cry or scream or punch things
  • panicking about decisions you have made
  • irrational
  • arguing with loved ones
  • worrying about things you haven’t worried about for years
  • dealing with issues you thought you’d resolved or worked through
  • bogged down with fear, guilt, or other negative emotions
  • feeling massively hormonal although it’s not your ‘time of month’

It’s not just you. My inbox is crammed this week with emails from people who are…

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