About Mia

I blog because I believe; that the Divine is in everything and everyone, that respect and support of women is vital, that I have power to change my physical environment for the better... through art, thought, and connection.

In Case You Were Thinking of Burning Out…

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Come have a talk with me. Let me help you. I believe in the idea that a person needs to rest, recharge, and be kind to themself in order to survive and thrive.

So you’re working for the movement? You’re putting your breath and your strength behind every moment? Take a moment to do the movement a favor, then; you are clearly one of its best advocates, and all of us need you at your best!

Send me a message, in the contact form below or at feelinggoodfeminism (at) gmail (dot) com  (change the things in parentheses to their symbol and remove the spaces, yup!) and we can have a chat about what you need to restore yourself. I happen to have healed from many things over the years and have a treasure trove of solutions to heal the soul, body, and mind.

Your bravery and continuous effort is greatly valued by me. Your message will give me that same joy about feeling valued. Thank you.

 

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One Voice in a Million: You Ain’t Takin’ That From Me!

Love this song: Natasha Bedingfield ‘Strip Me’. About finding a voice and nourishing it.

Today I’m sharing with you that I struggle with this feeling sometimes; I’m just one small voice and what can I change?

But I stand up for my one voice, and look to inspiring examples of people whose one voice, whose insistence, whose decisions change things for others. This video from ‘Clevver News’ mentions that Emma Watson in the live action ‘Beauty and the Beast’ film coming out March 17 of this year is interpreting her ‘Belle’as being an active princess. Belle is that way in the cartoon version as well; active. She’s shown running through fields, riding her horse, exploring a castle, evading wolves in the forest, and saving her father. She inspired me growing up. I can’t tell you how many fields I’ve run through, sometimes with the song from the movie in my mind! “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell!”

The video states that she didn’t want to wear a corset, and that her Belle will be wearing boots rather than the ballet flats worn by the cartoon version. I love that. I’ve always been a boot-wearing girl, ever since I was little. They are just more comfortable for me. While I didn’t perceive the cartoon Belle as wearing a corset, I think it’s an important decision in the live-action film to encourage women and girls to be healthy, not just to cave to expectations. A lot of fantasy films show women in corsets, which influences our culture toward ‘beauty over comfort’ rather than the healthy reverse, comfort over beauty. As well, people who participate in cosplay (or, dressing in costumes worn by particular characters from media) will have a healthier model to emulate.

Natasha Bedingfield’s song likewise asks ‘who am I if you strip away all the outside stuff’ (referencing fashion and makeup through the visuals of the video), and it’s an important question to ask ourselves. It’s crucial to our happiness (as well as to women’s rights) to seek our inner selves and know who we are without all the ‘dressing up.’ It’s vital to be ‘ok,’ as the songwriter asserts she is, without all the trappings.

I think everyone’s ability to choose who they are and how to express themselves is a treasure. Value your own treasure, make the choices that validate you as a person and support your own values.

If I’m too afraid to make a different choice than the popular choice, then I’m not changing anything. However if I make my own choice regardless of what other people are doing or saying is ‘the thing’, then I have power to be me today.

You ain’t takin’ that from me! (and neither am I.)

Dispelling Self-Doubt, Disrupting the myth of ‘other’

I’d like for you to watch this Tara Brach talk:

Healing Self-Doubt

What I take from her talk at this moment is that we have find a new way to think, to heal from thinking of men and people who disagree with us as being ‘other’. Because, they are human. When we can all hear each other, we can bring peace into situations. Relentless effort, unfathomable peace. It takes commitment to bring about peace and it takes acknowledging humanity in everyone.

Fear engenders only fear. And the extreme manifestation of fear is hate. We are more powerful than that today, and more humble. It is a sad conceit to believe that one is truly better than others. I intend to be humble today, and stronger because of it. I challenge you to put away your anger, fear, or whatever is tying you to the belief of there being ‘others’ today. We are all human, at our deepest levels.

Look into each other’s eyes. Drop the walls in your heart. Walls there only make us more vulnerable anyway, and we are as a movement committed to showing we are strong.

Please listen to the talk at the link I posted. It will begin to heal you if you let it. It’s helping me.

Don’t think about positivity…

You know that thing people say, ‘don’t think of a monkey’ and then they love to see how you can’t help but think only of a monkey?

What we focus on expands until it fills our awareness.

That’s why I choose to focus on positive thoughts, including positive thoughts about feminism. If I were to focus constantly on what’s being done wrong without offering a positive solution to focus on, what’s wrong couldn’t help but be perpetuated. When a person has nothing to replace old behavior with, they continue old behavior.

I don’t have all the answers. Nope. I know people wish to get all the answers from one place, or find a magic solution that solves all their problems. But the reality of life is that it takes persistent work to effect good change in the world. Small changes successfully implemented in one’s own life can make a bigger change than publicized revolutions that ultimately miss their mark.

Indulging in negativity makes me feel negatively, so I avoid it. I avoid sarcasm, because it makes me feel sad and states what I consider to be a lie in a way that could sound like truth if it isn’t recognized as sarcasm. So I worked really hard to learn to say things in a positive way and I continue to work to speak so. It’s important to me and when I do it well it absolutely transforms my interactions with others.

I believe goodness practiced softens rough edges. I believe people find it easier to listen when trust is there and truths are spoken calmly. Firmly, and calmly. I believe in backing up fellow women when they speak their truth, saying ‘I know what you’re talking about, that’s how I feel about it, too,’ to counteract the common discounting of women’s experience. And even when we disagree I believe in listening and showing respect.

I was taught that all people are equal, inherently. All people deserve the same amount of respect as one another. Some folks relinquish their sense of honor by their behavior and they still deserve basic human respect, even if not the sort of honor given someone who has earned it with positive actions.

I’m feeling good about focusing on the positive.

See Your Awesome

I just read a beautiful article I would love to share with you:

http://www.livingandlifedesigned.com/help-children-build-body-confidence-struggle/

Written by a mother of three, she addresses how to help children build a positive body image. As with most things, it starts from within. After reading the article, what positive heart characteristics can you list about yourself?

5 things I know are good about me:

Creative, Resilient, Compassionate, Considerate, Intelligent

Why run for president?

 

This article makes some good points. I disagree personally about the bit that ‘president’, seeming such a male office, is intimidating to women because they think they won’t have much of a chance to win. However, that may be true for some. For me personally, I wouldn’t want to be president because I think it’s immensely stressful and also awful for any one person to be so much in the spotlight. I want a more peaceful lifestyle for myself. I know that there are men who feel that way, too.

I think the article makes an excellent point that I was already planning to write about; that maybe there just aren’t that many women seeking public office. To get more women in positions of authority, maybe we need more candidates. I personally have no clue what could accomplish that goal, what could encourage women toward that end. Do you? Are you a woman interested in politics? Make a comment.

I have a few clues about what isn’t helping, though. There are enough women focusing on makeup and beauty alone that multiple youtube ‘vloggers’ make a living in the multi-millions from posting their makeup and hair tutorials.

I wish them no ill whatsoever. I personally find their makeup tutorials helpful when I choose to wear makeup. What I’m saying is that a lot of women are spending a LOT of time and money and FOCUS on their image. Not their minds, ambitions, or working for change in the world. Are you personally willing to shift those priorities for yourself? Do you know how much time out of any given day you spend on image? And more importantly, how much you spend developing your mind or working for positive change in the world?

I think the condition of focusing on image has a lot to do with how people are brought up, pressures faced at school and in the workplace, and media consumption. These ways of living are ingrained. But the solutions are at our fingertips and EVERY positive change makes a positive impact. Do what you can, today, right now. And then when it’s ‘right now’ again, do what you can then, too.

Share your positive actions here! As a community we need to support one another.

10 Months

It’s been 10 months since I last published a post on this blog. I’d considered closing it down, removing it from the internet. Not for any particular reason other than that maybe my fire had gone out. Understand, I was really quite happy (and am still, in other areas of my life). I’ve been really busy in a good way. And I felt less need to make change. But I kept this blog, live and on the internet.

There are so many things that I’ve written for it that I value. And of course I continue to believe in the worth of women. Yet I had stopped believing for awhile that continuing to strive for change was necessary. Things seemed so good!

With the recent election came a wake up call. Are some people so desperate that a woman wouldn’t run the US that they elected someone with no political experience and plenty of major flaws? Or maybe that has nothing to do with it. I’ve been busy doing other things important to me but some of those will take a temporary sideline so I can do some work for change. Writing doesn’t always feel* like the most practical work, however if it gives good people hope then it finds its value there.

I’ll write again.

 

*feelings are not facts!