Do you have difficulty knowing what you’re feeling? Is it not worth sticking to your values if that means you’ll be rejected or someone will be angry with you? Do you believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves properly? Do you use sexual attention to achieve what you want? Do you pull people toward you and then push them away when they begin to get close?
Often women are described as putting others’ needs ahead of our own, thusly forgetting to take care of our own needs. This wikipedia article has something intensely interesting to say about this sort of behavior which you can read under the section ‘patterns and characteristics’:
“This creates a sense that they are “needed”; they cannot stand the thought of being alone and no one needing them….When they do stand up for themselves, they feel guilty.”
I’ve recently been hearing about the concept of ‘codependence’, so I decided to do some research. What does ‘codependent’ mean?
Well, for starters, if you answer ‘yes’ to any of the questions in bold or any behind this link, you may decide to look into recovery from codependency. Here’s a Wikipedia definition, as an additional help:
“[Codependency] refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another. It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships. Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.”
There is hope. CoDA meetings are a resource for people who would like to have healthy relationships. For those who cannot find a meeting local to them, here is a beautiful list of affirmations to help you.
I’m feeling good about loving, healthy relationships.