Gossip

Why is there a tv show called ‘Gossip Girl’? (No I’m not just catching on. I heard of it years ago) Media influences society, and gossip is a sickness and a learned behavior. Gossip inspires hate. Having a show about people who gossip is the social equivalent of selling H1N1 at the grocery store.

Females are widely perceived as performing this behavior of ‘gossip.’ And often they unfortunately live up to it. Men also gossip, especially when talking about women. Picture yourself in this situation:

“Uhhh, remember that girrrl?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard some bad things about her.”

So what do you do in this situation? Personally, I would say “I don’t want to hear about it,” which does not always do the trick, but I say it anyway. Seriously, I don’t want to hear about it. Because what good could it do for me to hear something negative about someone else?

    • It truly does not make me feel good about myself.
    • I tend to worry about the person gossiped about, and sometimes worry that what they did will affect me (because sometimes it does).
    • Sometimes, the gossip is about what someone else did- and perhaps I, too, did that thing, and here’s my friend saying this other person is such a *bleep* and she wouldn’t be friends with them.
    • NUMBER ONE worst part: I begin to believe that the person I am talking to talks about ME behind MY back.

Gossip is a sickening behavior, not just that I’m disgusted by it, no, I truly have seen it break trust, sicken a friendship and kill it. I have seen people isolate themselves by gossiping about everyone they know. Suddenly no one wants to be your friend? It’s your behavior.

Take small steps. Here’s how.

  1. Notice when you gossip. Notice when other people gossip.
  2. Stay silent when other people are gossiping. You think this is counter-intuitive? Try it. You’ll find you’re listening. Listening to gossip is the #1 way to kill the urge to gossip.
  3. Love yourself. People who love themselves have no reason to badmouth other people.

That’s it. Normally I love long lists, but I’m going to keep this one simple. It’s so easy, anyone can do it!

I’m feeling totally good about you. I don’t talk about you behind your back, other than to say you’re awesome. I promise.

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2 thoughts on “Gossip

  1. Interesting post and you are quite right about listening to kill gossip – I have been on both the giving and receiving end of that tactic! (Shame on me, but pobody’s nurfect).

    It is an interesting phenomenon from a gender point of view isn’t it. Men undertake the activity too but it’s rarely called gossip. I remember reading about it in the context of women frequently only having social power (as opposed to economic, political etc) and that it is an inevitable use of the one sphere of influence many women have, and that its as much a response as a learned behaviour. We trade in social power, but the rules are far more convoluted and complex than an economic transaction… anyway, your post got me thinking about that! 🙂

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